so, i can't sleep, and i am doing what i usually do during periods of insomnia... thinking.
what does it all mean? katherine wanted to be with kevin, and not me. allison wanted to be with erik, and not me. stefanie--bless her heart, i can say nothing bad about her, but for the sake of listing major exes and almost-exes, she's here. brynn wanted to be with trevor, and not me. sloane wanted to be with dave, and not me. mollie wanted to be with jordan, and not me. sarah wanted to be with eric and alone and with brandon, and not me.
i am frequently told how nice i am, how this and that i am. everyone thinks this is a good thing. lady macbeth thought her husband had been spoiled by the milk of human goodness. i think i had a soy version of that milk, and i have been spoiled to niceness, and by niceness.
so, i am going to take arnold's advice. from now on, i will be mean to girls, and perhaps they will like me more. i will yell into telephones that i do not play games. i will check out other girls, including her friends, and my roommate's girlfriend. i will talk about 'pulling mad bitches when i move to cali.' i mean, these things work for arnold, and beds of poison ivy and such. we all need a little more of don solomon in the world.
free meal at bistro, just for knowing how to cut and paste? i am king.
why do i continue to care? maybe that's all i can do.